Photo by World Bank Photo Collection
I mentioned how our mindset impacts our understanding of marriage and “The One” yesterday. Did you know that mindset also affects how you raise your children?
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck talks about two primary mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. In short, a fixed mindset approaches life from the perspective that you were born with all the intelligence you will ever have. There is nothing you can do to increase your intelligence. A growth mindset, on the other hand, approaches life from the perspective that the brain is like a muscle: the more challenges it faces and overcomes, the smarter you will become.
Have you ever said, “I’m just not good at [fill in the blank]?” That may mean that you have a fixed mindset in that area. A growth mindset looks at the area and says, “I can get better at that if I invest the time and energy to overcome. Of course, that is really simplifying Dr. Dweck’s points, but you get the basic idea.
Christi and I believe our brains are muscles. The more we exercise them – by learning new things and solving problems – the smarter we get. We never want to hear our children say, “I just can’t do math.” or “I’m dumb.” We teach them that the harder they work, the better they can get.
This works for the creative arts as well. I tell my daughter all the time, “Creativity is something you have to work on. If you want to be more creative, you have to work harder.”
Carol Dweck influenced and reinforced our thinking on this matter. You can see a YouTube video interview with Carol below.
Christi teaches eighth grade mentoring classes. The students in these classes have an 80% chance of dropping out before they complete high school. Most of her students believe they aren’t smart enough for school. As a result, they’ve pretty much given up. Rather than focusing on teaching these students how to study, Christi works on helping them develop a growth mindset.
Last year Christi had a student that, according to records, had never passed a single science test. As the semester progressed, that student steadily improved. By the end of the semester, she was making A’s and B’s in science! The difference came when that student developed a growth mindset.
I recommend Dr. Dweck’s book. You can get it from Amazon (affiliate) here. I really think parents should read her book, evaluate (and change if necessary) their own mindset, and help their children develop a growth mindset.
